Sweet as hell

by B-Ride

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This album was written in its entirety on a friday in november at the metropolitan bistro in Sea Cliff, NY. After a modern fusion band played their set, the frontman, and drummer, had a drink with me. We talked shop and kept the whiskeys rolling. His name was forgotten and his band broke up - my only memories of that night were documented by scribblings on two cloth napkins. I let the ideas ferment for a couple of months before attempting to recall or reproduce anything said or felt that night. This album is a product of all that happened on a friday in november.

If you email me or somehow contact me, I will send you a cassette tape or compact disk free of charge!


released February 4, 2015

Track 19 was inspired in part by 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'

Claudia: Tracks 2 & 7 -- did sick hand stuff and vocals & flute, respectively
Pele: Tracks 8 & 18 -- filth



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B-Ride New York, New York

I like writing songs.

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Track Name: sweeeeeeet(in head voice)
*almost unintelligibly mumbles*
Track Name: my garden(the garden song)
I built a garden so high that the trees felt the whiskers of my plants
In your fortress 3000 miles away you can see my garden gate sway and sway...

Oh how the wind compliments my garden so well

You took me away and I felt the strange effects taking place in this place
You built a garden just like mine

I don't what you expected to grow the ground lay vacant - the soil hard
You acted like something was there and I just stood there and stared
Track Name: angelic as hell
I took a walk about 2am
We talked about through all the things that we've been
You were angry that I still kept that picture of you in my room
I argued - and said that you were just trying to be rude

But then the sky opened up and brought an angel down
Both of us sat transfixed as the angel handed you its crown

Neither of us knew exactly what it meant
But it that whatever the fuck we were talking about before meant bullshit
It looks like you have some more responsibilities to tend to...
Track Name: golden triangle
One saturday when i was a lot younger than i was today
I promised you we'd leave our lives behind and go to mandalay
We'd sail right through the indian ocean - circumvent bombay
We'd learn so much about ourselves and meet a lot of friends on the way

You made the elements so much more bearable for me
So as soon as time took its toll i could barely breath

We were sick of the dust in our faces and the poppy fields
So we sailed back home
Track Name: 1944
It was the summer of 1944 and my great granddad was off to war
My great grandma's eyes were the only thing as heavy as her heart

He brought her his spoils a shit ton of oil - his pockets lined with blood and deceit
He came back a rich man - started up a pub and a club and hosted illegal cockfights in the back

His rein held strong as his wife's lungs were hot and thick and dirty from her drums

She banged them all day
Keeping her worries at bay
As her life slowly ended from the beat

His hands were caught red
When the policeman took him in and said
"Son your eyes look almost as heavy as your heart"
Track Name: bring back my life
Trying to bring back my life
To the way it was about a month ago
About a month ago i told you a lie
I wish i didn't tell you that lie

When we got off of the boat
We were lucky cuz it sank right about after that
When we got off of the boat
I offered to drive you home

And you weren't really interested in my offer at all
I guess you weren't interested in me
But to tell you the truth I was really interested in you that night

If you only took that ride with me
I wouldn't be here next to you right now
I would've been in my car by myself crying my eyes out
Track Name: hair
I woke up this morning and i cut my hair
It was getting way too long so i figured "I should cut it"
So i cut my hair

The way that you looked at me made me feel like someone else
I remember 6 and a quarter months ago when we found that municipal dump
You told me you'd never leave me
That neither you nor I would ever feel despair
But now my head is bare - my heart is filled with rocks that will confine me to this chair
If i could promise you one thing
I'll break this god damned chair

I'll start reading more and realize you're not that important to me
And your postcard will arrive 5 seconds late
But I won't be here to even see
I'll be 6 and a quarter miles away
Burning that filthy dump to the ground
The ghosts of you and me will be disturbed from that squalid place of lukewarm dreams and spectral desires

But i'm more concerned with temporal things
And I know your postcard didn't make it in time
I'll say i forgive you when you ask in 7 years
But we both know you're 6 and quarter years too late

And i've grown back a full, brown, beautiful head of hair
Track Name: hesh
I peered out my window
In early december
I caught a glimpse of
The sun’s burning embers

The sky was raining blood outside

I joked of fairies
In the air around me
I sang of cherries
Sweeter than you without me

I wish you would just come inside
Track Name: i have a picture of you in my room
Symbiotic plant system overload
Naphcon B
Plant systems breaking backs of the tracks of their own sympathies
Wait - wait - why does this happen every time to me?
Wait a second this is just too much just let me breathe


Reptar safety packs
Just to bring my life back on track
Wait for the cue and then explode and drown
Drown way down

I have a picture of you in my room
I wish you had a picture of me your room
Track Name: i miss your old self
I felt the smoke go in my eyes
I felt the small thorns in my thigh
I felt the warm air heavy on my skin
And I never turned back

I looked a bit closer at you
I saw you

I saw you with your drunken spells
I saw you with your demon bells
I saw you with your stupid tattoo
I miss the person you used to be
Track Name: i was born with a t shirt and i'll die with a t shirt
When you first told me about your great aunt sue
I didn't believe you

Now your dad is hungry and my bones they ache like hell
And you're nowhere to be found
I turn my house upside down
I turn your house upside down

I remember when you told me you wanted to live your life on roller skates
And live like primates

You had a vision of a world dressed in drag
You swore to me that you were straight
But we already began to separate

I still saw you in school but my friends made it awkward as hell
I had to date a bombshell

Kids can be so cruel and I didn't stand up for you
I let my mouth drool like a fucking fool

I still listen to your demo tape you put out last may
I cry in my room just like how you cried in your room
Track Name: i'm cold as hell
You told me you'd never get a tattoo
I knew you'd never do it
I told you the sun makes me weak
But the grass makes me strong

You told me about the rain
I asked if you could make it go away
When you told me about the rain
I hid inside all day
Track Name: best fucking song
I counted 6 dead sheep in my dream last night
Until i woke up because my appendix burst
And while the doctor sliced and screwed me up
And told me not to make a real big fuss
Because my wounds will heal
And the sheep that weren't real
He filled me with enough drugs to keep my mouth shut for about a month
Track Name: i'm not gonna be a cannibal, i love you
Once in a while you call my phone and i would answer
Once in a while when you call my phone i'd answer
The other 20 times out of 30 I'd sit in my room and wait
The other 20 times out of 30 I'd sit in my room

Went to the candy store and bought ourselves some M&Ms
You looked at me with that grin again
I went to the candy store and bought you some skittles

Last week when i went with you to the pet store
You set your eyes on a turtle
You were pretty sure that you and this turtle would exit the world together
Well you told me about 3 hours ago
You told me right before you met this turtle you'd leave the world with me
And now that this turtle is here i don't know what to do anymore
And now that this turtle is here i think i gotta kill it

You're turning me into a murder
You're turning me into a killer
I don't wanna kill any animals
It's not like you're giving me choice

I'm not gonna be a cannibal, i love you
Track Name: let's eat some bread
Can't get away from you
Can't get you out of my mind

I know that i asked them to delete you
And now that i don't have a choice
But i regret it all because
Being with you was the only thing that made me feel like i had a voice

And now i'm trying so hard with you
To run away into the inner workings of my mind
And now i'm trying so hard with you
To escape and live our lives

Now I'm starting to give up
Because i feel like we don't really even have a shot
But if we hold on tight enough
Maybe we'll just have some luck
We hide in the deep recessive parts of my mind
And we find the parts that are really hard for me to imagine
And maybe we will last some time
And maybe we could last some time

And now that the procedure is over
There's not much that i can do
I'll see you in passing
But i'm not sure if it's - if it's even you

But we both know we should go to our meeting place:
At the shore with all the rocks and the stones and the waves - oh the waves - oh the waves - oh the waves and we'll sleep on the sand until our bones - our bones freeze

And i know this isn't easy for me or you
But maybe this is all that we got
Because I know my life wont be fulfilled
Until you fill up that - that spot in my heart

So please please stay together with me right now
You know i said some things that maybe i shouldn't have said
But hopefully we'll stay together even though i said those things
And we'll have some dinner and we'll eat some bread
Track Name: sharp toes
Stuck inside this grime
Can't look away
Stuck inside this grime
Can't find my way

I know i see my face hanging on the wall
But i can't to seem to face my face anyway at all

You see my inner workings like demons in their den
My glorious state of nausea creeping from its bed
Track Name: i'll call you tomorrow
In a drunken state i slithered across the living room floor
My face was being dragged across the dirty rough carpet
But i didn't care

My only goal at that moment was escort my fat fucking body to my bedroom
I felt my consciousness's altered state
Like a strain to contort one's face
Keeping it contorted for hours

I howled as the soft flesh on my lower belly was thinly and shallowly sliced by a stray unknown material

Slowly and clunkily i made my way to the narrow hallway
In the 1 story home
Track Name: now he's a man
He cranes his neck to see the page
The only thing that makes sense these days
Runs his mouth off and hides the shame
It helps to further mask the pain

Mother takes him in and feeds him bread
Kept him warm - gave him a bed
Sourceless anger rising fast
Throws his guitar on his back

Roams across a barren land
He runs until he can't turn back
He sees his father drunk on the right of the road
He heads left not going home

Why return to a place full of hate and greed?
Blood means nothing not misery

He can't take it anymore
Burns his books joins the war
He trades his music for a desk and pay
Trades his pain and anger for comfort and stay

Well at least now he's a man